A recent article from the Food Network is circulating which highlights The Foods Nutritionists Won’t Eat. The eyebrow raising naughty list includes some humdingers. For example, “Pretzels”, “Blended Coffee Drinks”, and “Nacho Cheese” are four of the fifteen foods that the Nutritionists will never touch. “Bologna”, “Doughnuts”, and “Rare Beef” were also named. Check the list for yourself but remember what Obi-wan said about absolutes. The world of nutrition should not be viewed in black-and-white terms, without room for nuance or compromise. With that in mind, we felt unapologetically inspired to create our own ultra-practical list in the true spirit of Dietitian For Men.
Foods the DFM Nutritionist Won’t Eat
- Anything that is still alive. The living organism may continue to survive in your stomach and create problems far worse than your hangriness. If you are not sure, kill it once and for all or just avoid consuming it.
- Scrapple. Don’t be fooled by the Food Network’s soft description – “As its name suggests, scrapple is made from scraps, but don’t let that dissuade you — it’s American paté.” Let’s be crystal clear; It is NOT American paté, (It’s more like American crapé). Wikipedia describes scrapple slightly more accurately.
- Insects covered in chocolate. Plain insects are fine, but chocolate…
- Anything that could have been on Fear Factor. Yes, that was THE Joe Rogan as the host on the show.
- Rice Cakes. They seem unnatural, kind of like fake food and whoever proclaims they taste good is flat out lying to you.
- Deer Bologna. Unless, of course, it is properly seasoned with garlic.
- Caviar. Egg con sumption should stop with chickens. Not to mention it’s expensive and your friends will laugh at you for using that ridiculously small spoon.
- And finally, we must agree with the Food Network Nutritionists and add…Commercially Grown Sprouts. Or any Sprouts. No one needs sprouts of any kind, ever. Google it.